As I welcome you into my internet home, Your Nudge, let me introduce myself.
I am Robin. I am a retired counselling psychologist working in the UK.
This website describes many ways in which you might change things in your life; assuming you want some change. I emphasise ‘might’.
It’s not ‘will’ as that’s for you to know, and not for me to say.
There are a few ways to do this, such as:
- By using this website to explore your own route as it emerges: with – or without – my map.
- In an ordered way, using a free ebook I have now written: Sweat the Small Stuff. This is in a PDF format. An EPUB version is available via this hyperlink, using specialist software. I use a free programme called Calibre. Both books are presently in draft form. It will be updated, preferably with your own examples of small, safe experiments included. You can offer your experience using the feedback form at the very bottom of this web page.
- By following this website, as follows ……..
What I want to achieve
Plenty of websites offer services to help to people. My view is that you may not need my help, and your priority may be exploring ways to help yourself.
One main task I set myself was to recount other people’s experiences of putting together such experiments.
Treat the website like an old fashioned graphics novel. It has multiple endings, as one person described it to me, so choose your own. I have been told that this make the website complicated, even deep, so let me offer you a demonstration of what I mean.
What am I going on about
By now, you will have seen my ‘welcome’ picture, above. It illustrates one scenic route that is shaped by the choices you and I make in our lives. These choices can be shaped by small, safe experiments.
Here’s a link that summarises the safe-to-fail experiments I offer in my ebook and on this website.
Elsewhere, I take apart this picture of the scenic route to show how it might work for you.
Let me offer a practical way to use my Welcome picture
……. as that enables me to show how choices you make create different results. For instance:
1. you can accept my words of encouragement and read on
…. or
2. you can touch on this hyperlink . This takes apart my picture of the scenic route in more detail
…. there is at least one other option …..
3. some people will have left off this website already!
That’s fine; there’s a lot to do in our lives. My detailed material will be of value only to some readers.
For those wanting to go on with this inquiry
….. I’d ask you to go back to my picture – to consider how different kinds of ‘nudges’ apply here:
NUDGE ONE: going back and forth between my picture and my words, here: that’s one nudge offered by me, alone.
NUDGE TWO: Take another look at the illustration. Notice one specific detail that catches your eye. If you do this, then the choice you make is your own nudge.
NUDGE THREE: Stop for a moment: make a mental note of how you respond to the detail you lighted on? Perhaps with excitement, anxiety, puzzlement or what? I cannot know; only offer up a few suggestions. Here I offer a nudge – without knowing what the outcome is for you.
NUDGE FOUR: View the picture once more. Make a mental note of my specific mention of ‘obstacles’. As you do this, you may become aware of an obstacle in your present life. That’s a first practical safe experiment; ‘just noticing’ an obstacle.
You can continue with the experiment by making a brief written note of the thoughts, feelings and sensations that arise as you identify an ‘obstacle’ on your present scenic route.
That’s another nudge from me – a rather detailed one! If you took the hint, then your action was the small, safe experiment called a Body Scan. All my nudges provide opportunities you may choose to pursue, or not.
NUDGE FIVE: consider if there is just one small thing you might do this afternoon or tomorrow that helps you manage that obstacle just a little bit differently. Here is a potential nudge that only you can generate.
The rest of this website describes many specific nudges, or small, safe experiments, in greater depth. Using them may enable you to build on the successes you could discover any time now.
When you meet an obstacle, or a temporary small defeat, it is possible to learn or to change.
As the saying goes: any journey, however long, starts with the first step. You are – as of now – already on a journey.
So let’s take a sixth step.
If this web site says anything, it is that you can make a difference for yourself. The information in this website, and the contributions from so many people, are focused on maximising the chance of you doing something just a little bit different.
A good starting point might be a First Nudge where I say more about ‘just noticing’.
As long as you continue to explore this website, you can identify tools best suited for your own personal development, and follow it through at your own pace, and in your own way.
However, some of the pages may have an emotional impact on you. Therefore, you may want to work on your personal development with a consultant. The important thing is to find some-one reliable and discreet outside your immediate circle of friends or family.
For some outcomes or challenges, you may conclude that the support of a well-qualified therapeutic practitioner is necessary.
Now I am retired, my previous offer of a consultation is not available, but the book offers suggestions you can follow – in the very final chapter.
SUMMARY
The website is made up of a number of small, safe experiments.
I want you to have quite a few choices when designing your own safe experiments. One of my wishes is to improve my ‘nudges’ with your feedback.
I make several changes to the website each week, and would like to include your suggestions.
Look to the bottom of this page to make an immediate response. No personal details will be disclosed and no email connections sold on. There will be no irritating advertisements on this email although leads are offered to you here-and-there.
You may be interested in my background.
Some final steps to consider
Read my ‘letter’ to you bearing in mind one important consideration: I cannot do the work for you.
Alternatively, visit my dissection of the scenic route.
There is a further action to consider – follow some other leads as most pages carry several small, safe experiments. Here’s a start.
Leads you may find helpful
The inverted tree and Body Scanning as a starting safe experiment
How to design small, safe experiments
What’s so important about the SMALL in Small Defeats and Small Victories?
Body Scanning and ‘thinking-about-breathing’
A practical example putting it all together
….. and a page to explore every entry on this website (now there’s a challenge!) at:
An index of all pages and posts
….. and, after you have done a few safe experiments, consider:
how will you review the work you have done
…… and how you might come to just one end of some work.
You can even sit a ‘Finals Paper’ when you’ve done a lot of work on yourself, It’s just a bit of fun really, not to be taken too much to heart.
There is a SEARCH button at the bottom of most pages. and that feature means you can follow keywords of your own making.
You can use that opportunity to offer me some final thoughts on what you did (and intend to do next).
What will your ending look like?
Happy Hunting.
You’ve come a long way through this Welcome page.
You’ve been curious for quite a few minutes. Tell me about it and help me out with even more material to include for Your Nudge readers!
I have included feedback forms throughout the website.