I have talked a lot about change. I have mixed feelings about a number of changes that turned up during my life. The stress is difficult to tolerate when I have mixed feelings. Sometimes I feel bad, and some time I see a light at the end of the tunnel.
It is not easy to design safe experiments when everything is so fluid. Certainly, it is not possible for me to know what will work for you. Even so, I am going to point my finger at a few possibilities.
ASSERTIVENESS
Closely related to the topic of self-affirmation is the issue of assertiveness. This is a large topic and you may well find it helpful to seek out a local course. These are often provided by local authorities and local colleges. Just attending such a course could be seen as an experiment. The courses are usually very practical. They will provide you with a number of more specific experiments to promote any change you want to make.
AFFIRMATION
Select just one or two affirmations – from the many included below – and experiment with them. Only a few will chime with you so be choosy.
Ignore any item that does not make an intuitive impact on you – at least for a time.
Use one or two affirmations consistently over a period of several days and several times a day. Later on, try looking at yourself in the mirror when you say them (best done later as this part of the experiment will prove embarrassing for most of us, some of the time).
Notice the impact of the affirmation upon you over time – particularly when you doubt it – as is most likely in the early days. If it is a foreign idea, you can expect to reject it in the first place and I’d still ask you to stick with it for a little longer, at least.
Recording is important as changes may be subtle and seemingly trivial or lightweight along the way. It is easy to miss small victories when on the scenic route!
Use the body scan technique to observe and ‘measure’ your responses using the Subjective Unit of Discomfort (SUD). This illustration may offer a summary of what the SUD involves.
Are you feeling ‘Green’ or ‘Red’, or some point between? Does your rating vary over time?
Using it, I’d hope you will notice how our feelings and sensations become more or less intense (or even stay the same) when associated with any affirmation.
SOME EXAMPLES OF AFFIRMATIONS
I am learning to accept me. I am learning to accept others and accepting me.
I am able to give and receive love as a natural part of my living.
I allow myself to experience my life, finding joy in each moment.
I trust the way my life unfolds. All is going well.
I am focusing on the positives in my life and I celebrate them daily. I have deep gratitude for the positives in my life.
My past is for information only. I am learning to release all that is past and to live in the present moment.
I can find joy in the here and now.
I am able to learn and to improve.
I embrace with joy and gratitude my opportunities for positive improvement.
I embrace change with courage and confidence.
I trust my inner knowing that guides me toward my highest good.
I am doing the best I can under my circumstances and view others as if they are doing the best they can do under their circumstances. They are being who they are.
I am just as precious as everyone else. We are all of the same energy. We are all good enough.
I am empowered. I have choices that allow me to have control over my life. And so I do. Also, I recognize that others need to have control over their lives as well.
I am safe. It is safe to be me. It is safe to love and be loved. It is safe to lead my life in a fulfilling way. It’s safe to be an adult and on my own and to be my own person.
I am empowered. I have choices that allow me to have control over my life. Whatever I am unable to control, I turn it over to Nature.
I live my life with trust and faith that I can cope with whatever comes my way. I am fine.
I allow myself to flow with the experiences of my life, finding joy in each moment. I trust the way my life unfolds. All is going well.
I am safe and secure. It is safe to be me. It is safe to love and be loved. It is safe to lead my life in a fulfilling way.
It’s safe to be an adult and on my own and to be my own person.
Everything that is happening is happening. I may not be aware of the meaning of what happens and I trust that I may benefit from every outcome.
I am able to bend and lean with the wind. I am adaptable. I keep my mind flexible and open to new ideas.
I appreciate and accept every part of my being. I love and accept myself totally. I am deserving of all of life’s blessings, and I accept them willingly. Good things happen to me.
I am at peace with the universe, my family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances.
My being alive means being able to learn and to improve. I embrace with joy and gratitude my opportunities for improvement.
I embrace change with courage and confidence, trusting it is a gift of wisdom for my soul.
I am doing the best I can under my circumstances and view others as if they are doing the best they can do under their circumstances.
I support myself in loving and caring ways. I am worth it.
I respect myself, and I respect others as well. I am responsible for making sure my needs are met. My needs are just as important as everyone else’s needs.
I am able to tell other people what I need and what my limits are. This is part of taking care of me.
My self-image is permanently positive and unaltered by what others say or do. Whatever mistakes I may have made are stepping-stones to greater success.
I have confidence about who I am. I trust and believe in myself. I know that I know.
I forgive those who were supposed to nurture me but who were unavailable to me emotionally, physically, and/or spiritually. Forgiving those people allows me to go on with my life in a positive way.
I take full responsibility for nurturing myself. And I do nurture myself. I am self-empowered, and it feels so great!
When you have generated some data, make a connection between the body responses I’ve touched on before and/or consider your road map experiment. What affirmations might have worked for you in the past. How might an affirmation help you make a change in the near future?